“The Parable of the Unforgiven Servant”

Scripture – Matthew 18:23-35

Sermon preached by the Rev. Dr. Gregory Knox Jones

Sunday, September 22, 2024

An old codger – i.e., someone my age – tells of a recent trip to a fast-food restaurant. He said, “I was in the McDonald’s drive-through the other day. The young man behind me leaned on his horn, and started mouthing some ugly words, because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window, I paid for my order and I paid for his order.”

“The cashier must have told him what I had done because he leaned out his window and waved to me and started mouthing ‘Thank you. Thank you.’ He was probably feeling embarrassed that I had repaid his rudeness with kindness.”

“When I pulled up to the second window, I showed the server both receipts. I took my food and I took his food and drove away! Now he has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again!”

Revenge can taste so sweet! We like to see people get what we think they deserve. But how does that square with the teachings of Jesus on forgiveness? The McDonald’s incident was a light and amusing episode, but there are more serious situations that all of us experience when the question of forgiveness weighs heavy.

Should you forgive someone who really hurt you, but never apologized? Should you forgive someone who has not changed? If you forgive someone who has shown no remorse, won’t they just continue to hurt people?

Today’s parable is not a stand-alone teaching. It follows a passage in which Peter comes to Jesus totally flustered. Peter wants to know what to do with a guy who continues to hurt him. How many times does he have to forgive this lout? “Seven times?” Peter asks.

“No,” Jesus says. “Not seven times, but seventy times seven.”

With Peter and other disciples standing with their jaws dropped, Jesus tells today’s parable. Professor Tom Long points out that this parable is intentionally cartoon-like. In the end we will wince, but before that we chuckle. A king decides to settle up his financial accounts and calls before him a servant who owes him – let’s see, what does the parable say? – ten thousand talents. Sounds like a lot of money, doesn’t it? One talent was worth somewhere between 15 and 20 years’ worth of wages. Multiply that times 10,000 and you see that this servant owes more than a bazillion bucks. He owes something like the gross national product of the entire Mediterranean world. We will drive ourselves nuts if we ask why the king ever loaned such a gargantuan sum to a servant and what possessed the servant to sign his name to such a loan. The point is that we have a ridiculous situation¹ in which a servant owes his master more than Bill Gates’ fortune.

Surprise, surprise! The servant is unable to repay the debt. So, to cut his losses, the king orders him to be sold into slavery along with his wife and children, and to liquidate all they possess to recover a fraction of the debt.

Hearing that his life is about to become his worst nightmare, the servant drops to his knees and cries, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” That, of course, is impossible.

However, the parable informs us that out of pity for the servant, the king says, “I forgive you. Debt cancelled.” The servant is free to go, and one imagines he leaves walking on air.

But he hasn’t skipped too far before he runs into a fellow servant who owes him some money – nothing close to a bazillion bucks. And servant number one says, “You owe me. Pay up!” But it is actually worse than that. The parable tells us that servant number one grabs his fellow servant by the throat when he demands the money.

Since servant number two cannot repay the loan, he does what servant number one did. He fell on his knees and pleaded with him. Incredulously, servant number one shows no pity and has his fellow servant thrown into prison.

Other servants saw what happened and couldn’t believe their eyes, so they scampered off to enlighten the king. Predictably, the king went ballistic. The king summoned servant number one and said, “You wicked servant! You pleaded with me, and I forgave you. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger the king handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. Then, Jesus drives home his point. “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

If you are not squirming, you haven’t been listening. The God of love and mercy sounds more like a no-nonsense judge inclined to throw away the key.

It’s important to know that Matthew routinely uses hyperbole and places his readers at a fork in the road. One way leads to a beautiful life and the other way leads to a miserable death. He draws a stark contrast between right and wrong, good and evil. He wants to warn his readers in the strongest possible language that the stakes are incredibly high. Choose wisely and life is heaven, choose poorly and life is torment.

As one scholar puts it, “Matthew is like the mother of a teenage son who is about to take the family car out on his own for the first time. She hands him the keys, anxiety for his safety in her heart. She does not gently murmur, ‘Now son, I really hope you will be careful tonight.’ No, she points her finger and says, ‘Now you listen to me. You drive carefully tonight. No speeding, no texting, no trying to impress your friends. You act carelessly for a minute, and you could wrap the car around a telephone pole and break everybody’s heart! You hear me?’ Likewise, Matthew does not pussyfoot around the dangers for those who act the fool and miss the life offered in God’s kingdom.”²

With today’s parable – found only in the Gospel of Matthew – the gospel writer underscores the necessity for followers of Jesus to extend mercy to others. All of us know that is easier said than done.

Why are we hesitant to forgive? For one, forgiveness is at odds with our natural instinct to protect ourselves. Many of us seem to have a built-in revenge reflex. From the time we are small, if someone inflicts pain on us, WE STRIKE BACK! It may be our way of saying, “This is how it feels to be hurt.” Our hope is that if the other feels the pain, he will not do it again.

Another reason we may be hesitant to forgive is because we worry that the other person will think we are excusing their behavior. If what they have done is wrong, we want to ensure that they clearly understand they are out of bounds.

We may be hesitant to forgive because we fear it will make us vulnerable to future attacks. At some point, don’t we have to put our foot down and say, “Enough is enough?”

I suspect many of us are hesitant to forgive because we possess a passion for justice, and we believe people should suffer the consequences of errant behavior. Justice demands that we not let someone off the hook too easily. Isn’t our system of justice based on the premise that if a person is punished for bad behavior, he will think twice before committing the offense?

People with low self-esteem may be especially hesitant to forgive. It is easy to have a knee jerk reaction and seek to extract an eye for an eye. It generally takes a mature person with a positive self-image to take the high road.

And what about that phrase that all of us have heard: “Forgive and forget.” I am not an advocate. Forgiveness does not mean we are willing to forget what happened. We forgive someone despite remembering the pain. We forgive so that the harmful act is not given the power to control our future behavior. We forgive for our mental health. If we are driven by anger or resentment it can lead to anxiety and depression. Forgiveness is good for your wellbeing.

Some have the notion that forgiveness is only for wimps; that it is a sign of weakness. However, it takes a great deal of self-discipline and strength to forgive, rather than to seek revenge or to write off the offender. Forgiveness requires immense courage and character.

“In May 1981, as Pope John Paul II greeted crowds of the faithful in Saint Peter’s Square, gunshots shattered the celebration. The bullets came from the gun of Mehmet Ali Agca, a Turkish nationalist, who tried to assassinate the Pope. Several bullets struck him, and only emergency surgery saved his life. From his hospital bed, the Pope said in a faint voice, ‘I pray for the brother who struck me, whom I have sincerely forgiven.’”

“Two years later, John Paul II made his way down a dim cell block to meet his attacker face to face. The Pope entered Agca’s cell, sat down next to him, and talked. Then the Pope prayed with him and told him, ‘I forgive you.’”

“This act of forgiveness was so unexpected in the arena of customary human relations, that many refused to accept it at face value. Some sneered that this was a photo op, the Pope posturing for the cameras. Others suggested that John Paul II, if he was serious about this act of forgiveness, was a fool to have done it. After all they said, Agca, an unrepentant criminal, had not requested the visit, expressed no remorse for what he had done, and if he had possessed the means, might well have taken another shot at the Pope. But the Pope was simply putting into action the life of the Kingdom of God, the way of forgiveness that lies at the heart of the Christian faith.”³

After the Pope forgave the man who tried to murder him, the man was not released from prison. He still had to pay the consequences of his action. But the act of forgiveness changed the situation. Whether the man wanted to hear it or not, he was shown in a very powerful way that there is a different way of living in the world than killing your enemy.

The parable does not address what to do when a nation seeks to oppress people or seize their land. The parable is focused on personal relationships. Its focus is the mindset with which you approach others. Is your first instinct to get even or to show mercy?

Forgiving someone who has hurt us can be extremely challenging. Married couples learn that if you cannot forgive your spouse, your bond of love frays. Parents learn they must forgive their children or be driven mad. Friends know that if they cannot forgive, the friendship will die.

Exacting revenge may arise from a poor self-image and a feeling within that you are not respected. It may arise from a belief that it is your job to teach someone a lesson. But, down deep, I think it is based on the belief the other is an object rather than a human being.

Forgiveness radiates from the belief that life is sacred, and each person is a child of God. Again, we are talking about a mindset. Or, perhaps better, a soul-set. You can choose to approach others with suspicion or openness. You can be shrewd or you can be gracious. You can approach others as people you must defeat before they defeat you, or as a fellow child of God. Which way will you approach others? Which world will you choose to live in?

NOTES

1. Thomas G. Long, Proclaiming the Parable, (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2024), p. 169.
2. Ibid., p. 114.
3. Ibid., p. 173.

Prayers of the People

Randall T. Clayton

Gracious God, in love you created us; in love you free us; in love you redeem us; in love you forgive us. And so, in love, we turn to you this day. We are grateful for relationships that nurture our lives, for times when we have known peace, and for the opportunities to seek to restore harmony in our homes, community, and world. In your mercy you continue to give us new possibilities to heal broken relationships, to restore creation, to share your love.

We pray O God for the people of the Middle East – especially for the people of Lebanon, Syria, Israel, and Gaza – we pray for food, for clean water, or dignity and respect. We pray that hostilities may cease, that guns and bombs might be laid down forever, and that electronic devices no longer be turned to death dealing machines. We also pray, O God, for the people of Ukraine as they continue to endure warfare. Ease their suffering and let those who mourn a war related loss know our support and concern.

We pray, O God, for our mother earth – show us how we might care for the land around us, the air we breathe, and the water we drink. Show us, and when our zeal flags to protect creation, fill us with new energy and new vision.

We pray, O God, for our own nation. In the midst of a polarized people, we pray for a new sense of unity. When in our political discourse truth takes a backseat, when people are maligned because of where they came from, and when seeds of division and distrust are scattered far and wide, we pray, O God, for a restoration of respect for those who are on the other side of the aisle, and for a new commitment for seeking the good for all at the expense of none. In a hyper polarized nation that’s awash in guns we pray that we might exercise our choices at the ballot box rather than through machine guns and threats and dehumanizing words and actions.

We pray, O God, for our church and her leaders. In this new future in which we now live, we ask for wisdom to know how we might serve in new ways, for the courage to let go of things that no longer bear fruit, and for the vision to chart a path that will lead to continued vitality and vibrancy.

And we pray, O God, for those in our midst who struggle with broken or fragile relationships, for healing where there is division, for hope where there is hopelessness. We pray for those who hurt in body, mind or spirit, asking for healing and peace. We pray for those who grieve that they may know a peace that passes all understanding. We pray for those who are dealing with significant medical diagnoses and treatment. Give them the assurance of your presence, a strong group of supportive persons, wise and caring medical providers, and hope enough and then some to see them through.

We ask these things remembering the prayer which Jesus taught saying, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. Amen.”